Race Day: Pitiful, Pathetic, Disappointing. We did not rise to meet any challenge. The race might have been better than yesterday's but we were still 6th out of 6. I knew when we started our sprint why were in the position/place we were in. We lifted and the whole operation got smoother. I realized this was how the whole race was supposed to feel. I don't know what happened, we had been right there w/ Brown yesterday. Who knows? None of Lehigh's boats did well. The girls finished last like us & the four-w/ finished 3rd out of 7 in the E-final.
It didn't hit me until after we unloaded the trailer, disassembled the launches, and stored everything inside. Even then it was only when Phil and I had both sat down in his car and closed the doors that I knew it was over. My gut told me. There was a knot or a hole or a pit, whatever you want to call it, that had just developed. Even though I had considered my season over after Vails when I had started sculling, it wasn't really over. Now it is. It's final. It's over. There's something about IRAs that does this. It seals up your entire season, bringing it to an abrupt close. I hate it. I hate change. I would prefer to say in this season and just continue to row where I am forever. This season ending brings me closer to rowing in college being over. At the same time I know I can't live like that. The change is progress and growth. I may be happy now but it is nothing compared to what's in store for the future. I loved high school, my friends aand I were always having a good time, but if I had stayed there I would never have met certain people. I would never have found rowing and I would never have realized the capabilites of my body to train, recover, and grow. Stagnation is death. One can only hope and yearn and long for what's coming to be even more beautiful than what is being left behind.
The sun shines
And people forget.
The spray flies, as the speedboat glides
And people forget.
Forget they're hiding
...
Behind an eminence front.